So we haven't heard from AL

Me thinks that he has some sort of STD and did not want to get tested.

Were we asking too much?  Who knows really.

All I know is that it is slave girl Friday and I am looking forward to having Hubby come home.  Slave girl Friday is our very vanilla entrance to BDSM.  We have both wanted to get into something like this, so we are trying it for one day a week.  We would be greatly critisized in the BDSM world for not being true to the dom/sub lifestyle, but it works for us!

STD testing

Dear Polylove,

As a monogamous married woman, I didn't really have to think about STD testing.  I mean, we had some way back in the beginning of the relationship, but nothing recent.  

But I really want to be safe with AL.  I want to be able to not have any worries about my health or my future fertility when we are with him.

So I bit the bullet and sent an email to AL about getting STD testing.  An uncomfortable email to say the least.  And even more uncomfortable that it has been nearly 24 hours since said email and we have yet to get a response. 

I will let you know when we hear back.  I really hope that he agrees to do it.  Because if not, I don't think that we can be with him.  :(  And I really want to be with him!

That's all for now,

Lovie

Our marriage explained

Dear Polylove, 

Hubby and I are in love.  Plain and simple.  What started as two people on a blind date led to the greatest thing in my life.  Cliche, I know.  

We are a very sexually open couple (obviously).  When I came "out" to him about my bisexuality, he was very understanding and supportive.  And as an added plus, he wasn't the stereotypical male and didn't ask to join in.  Gotta love that!

It has been set in our relationship even before we were married that I would be free to date and see women throughout and Hubby would just have me.  Sounds like a double standard, but it is what worked for us.

Somewhere along the way we became curious about adding other people into our bedroom.  We found some swinging sites and decided to give it a try.  Let me just tell you this, swinging was NOT for us.  We met a couple of couples and they just didn't fit well with us.  They were more into just one-night-stands (which is technically what swinging is) and that wasn't our cup of tea.  We needed bonding and intimacy before becoming sexually active with people.  We both desired something more that swinging just wasn't giving us.

We decided to give up on the idea of adding people into our marriage (the word polyamory never even entered our vocabulary) after our child was born.  Fast forward a couple of years, and we both realized that we really wanted to explore the idea again and we stumbled onto polyamory.  It was like a giant light bulb went off for us!  This is what we were looking for!

So we decided to join a couple of sites and a support group.  We read up on the subject and the more and more we talked about it, the more we realized that this is something that we could seriously envision for ourselves.

Then we "met" AL.  He stumbled upon our profile at one of the aforementioned sites and contacted us.  We quickly began chatting and realized that he was a really great guy!  Down to earth, easy going, in polyamory for the right reasons, and so on.  As an added plus, the phone sex is amazing.  =)

So for now, we are chatting and calling AL regularly.   We hope to meet him soon as he lives several hours drive away from us.  So as I said, we are very early in our polyamory lives, but what better time to start a journal of something than at the beginning!  

Lovie

So what am I doing here?!

Dear Polylove,

Consider this my introduction post.  This little blurb is the rundown of my life and how I arrived at this point.

Where to start...

Well, on here I will go by Lovie.  I am a 25 year old bisexual woman.  I am married to a man, I will call him Hubby (original, I know).  

I have known that I was bisexual from a very young age.  Very young.  I remember wanting to kiss girls far more often than I wanted to kiss boys.  I successfully suppressed those urges for years until college when I was free to be the person that I really was.  A dear woman opened my eyes to the concept of bisexuality and that was the end for me.  Since then, I have had a woman lover and am much more confident in myself as a bi woman.  

I married Hubby in 2005.  We had a child in 2007.  We have always discussed opening our marriage in a polyamorous sense.  Adding people into our already love-filled loves is appealing to us on many levels.  Naturally we are a little nervous of this change because this time, we will be opening our bed and our marriage to another man.  Why, you ask?  Because we are both aware of the fact that it is increasingly difficult to get what we need from one person.  And while (due to my bi status) it would be nice to add a woman into our lives, I think that we are going to start with this.  In effort to be completely honest on this blog, I find that it is so amazing to be with a woman in a sexual sense, but I find it more difficult to keep long-term relationships going with women.  Maybe it is because I tend to want to be the alpha female and it is hard to let that go.  Who knows...that is the purpose of this blog.  To get all these feelings out there in the world so that I can better understand my growing and changing sexuality.  

So for now, Hubby and Lovie are looking for another man to bring into our relationship.  We have an account at a couple of the poly websites dedicated to matchmaking and are new members of a poly support group.  We have been talking (emailing and phone) with a man located a couple of hours from us.  He seems very sweet and is what we are looking for on several levels.  We are hoping that things continue from here... I shall call this man AL.  Not his real name obviously.  

I imagine that the purpose of this blog with morph over time.  I hope to one day provide lots of experiences and advice to people just starting out in their own polyamory journeys.  But for now, this is just a place for me to talk about my feelings and all things poly.  

Lovie